Safety - Stalking
What is Stalking
The dictionary definition of stalking is "to pursue stealthily" and until only a few years ago it was a term usually used in respect of game or animals. Today it now has a more sinister connotation with people being the prey.
It happens when you, or your child, becomes the focus of someone who is fixated or besotted with you or your life. While incidents of stalking are quite rare, they can often range from little more than a nuisance to being very intimidating to those involved.
Victims may not even be aware that it is happening, and that they are being stalked. Frequently the perpetrators may not have malicious intent. In fact, stalkers may even have a sincere but misguided belief that their victims love them, or they may have a desire to help the victims. Contrary to crimes that consist of a single act, stalking consists of a series of actions which in themselves can be considered innocent and legal, such as calling on the phone, sending gifts, or sending emails. As a series however these acts become harassment, and give the Police and the Courts various powers to act to prevent the situation continuing.
Most cases of stalking never escalate to extreme levels of violence or harassment, but never the less can still cause the victims extreme distress. A study carried out by the University of Leicester in 2005 in association with the Network for Surviving Stalking, a charity dedicated to helping stalking victims found that 1 in four victim’s children were also targeted by their stalker and that in the majority of cases the stalker was an someone well known to the victim. It also found that stalking at all levels, from "being persistently bothered" by someone to being constantly watched, was considerably more common than was thought.
Stalking is defined as "a constellation of behaviours in which an individual inflicts upon another repeated unwanted intrusions and communications." (Mullen, 1999). Intrusions include making approaches, maintaining surveillance and gathering information. Communication can be by telephone, letters, cards, faxes, internet, graffiti, gifts, or ordering goods and services on the victim’s behalf. If you want to know more on the subject the Wikipedia internet site is excellent and covers the subject in detail.
If you think you are being stalked, then contact the Police without delay.
What to do if you think you or a member of your family have become prey to a stalker.
Take action
If you think you are the victim of a stalker then take action and do it quickly. You can contact any number of agencies, but the advice will always be the same.
Contact the Police
Call the Police and tell them exactly what has happened. If possible take the name, warrant number and station telephone number of the officer dealing with your case. Listen carefully to the advice you are given as the Police now take stalking or harassment as the law calls it, very seriously and should leave you knowing exactly what they plan to do to help you. If your stalker has committed an offence, such as damage to your property, then ensure the officer contacts you with a crime number, and ensure you keep this number safe.
In many cases the early intervention of the Police will bring the matter to a quick stop. In the rarer cases where this doesn’t happen, the Police will brief you on what you need to do, or not do, to help them stop your stalker.
Do not respond
It is vitally important that you are not seen to encourage or tolerate your stalker, even if you know them or you were once friends. Don’t feel guilty about this, they have manipulated the circumstances and they are to blame for what is happening, not you. Do not respond to any contact. Do not negotiate or bargain with your stalker in the hope that being conciliatory will appease them. It won’t.
Inform
Don’t keep it to yourself. Unless the Police advise otherwise, tell people what is happening. Let your neighbours know. Tell people at work. They can look out for you and if they see the person stalking you, their evidence can be used as well as yours. If you are getting stalked at work or if you stalker is a work colleague then tell your human resources department, your line manager or your union rep.
Improve personal safety
The majority of stalkers limit their attentions to unwanted gifts or following their victims with contacts by telephone or text messages. Some however go a little further and there have been cases where the stalker has repeatedly gained access to a victim’s property, often without leaving any signs. If you know your stalker and, at any time, they have had access to the keys to your property or motor car, even for what seemed to be an innocent reason, then arrange to have the locks changed. Do not open the door until you have confirmed the identity of the caller. If you’re not happy then keep it closed. Always use the chain, and if you have one, the door spy hole. Ensure that you use window locks, and if you don’t have them, get some fitted especially to ground floor windows. Keep your mobile with you whenever you are out. If you don’t have a mobile telephone ask the Police if they have one you can borrow until the matter is sorted out. (Police usually have a small supply of mobiles which they give to domestic violence victims) Lastly, and this is common sense, don’t put yourself in situations which make you vulnerable.
Record
Like all offences, the Crown Prosecution Service and the Courts cannot act without evidence, and therefore gathering evidence, useable evidence, is very important in these cases. Get yourself a note book small enough to fit into a handbag or trouser pocket. The Police will advise you to do this but as soon as you realise there is a problem, start a diary. Make a detailed note of what is happening. Nothing is to trivial, so record everything you can. If you are receiving telephone calls don’t delete the details from your mobile and keep all text messages. If the calls are coming in on a land line telephone, then answer them and if there is no speech or you identify it as your stalker, put the handset down and leave it for a few moments before hanging up. Although the information is often available via your telephone provider, keep a log of all calls, and if you have to leave the phone off the hook, and then record the times you did this as well.
Sightings
Some stalkers will follow you or know your movements well enough to know your regular haunts. Don’t be surprised if you see your stalker outside your gym, or in your local supermarket or pub. They may be there when you go to post a letter or take the dog for a walk. Note these as soon after as you can. Note if you see the stalker around where you live. Remember, on each occasion - PUT IT IN THE DIARY.
Cars
Make a detailed note of the vehicles your stalker uses or has access to. Write down the colour, make and model together with any distinguishing details. Note where and when you saw the vehicle together with any actions or speech your stalker may have done or said.
Keep any unsolicited cards or letters you believe to be from your stalker, regardless as to whether they can be attributed to them. The same applies to presents and flowers. Keep them and notify the Police.
Computers
Keep all e-mails received from your stalker. The Police should keep in regular touch with you, but don’t be afraid to contact them to see what is happening, or if you have new evidence.
Remember; if you feel in danger, threatened or intimidated by a particular event then call "999" straight away.
Where to get help
In reality, there is only one organisation which can provide the help you need to make a stalker stop. You will need more than advice, more than support. You must contact the Police and do it quickly as you can. Early intervention is essential for the Police to help you and stop you stalker in their tracks.
Often victims think they will not be taken seriously by the Police. Perhaps they will be laughed at or be considered paranoid, especially if the stalkers attentions are nothing more than unwanted romantic gestures. Leaving a red rose on a car every morning can be considered nice. If it’s done by someone you don’t know, or it’s an unwanted gesture by someone you don’t like, then it ceases to be nice and becomes scary and unwelcome.
Remember it is how you perceive this attention which is important. THE POLICE WILL UNDERSTAND THIS. If you have concerns for your immediate safety then simply call 999 without delay.
There is an excellent website, run by the victim of a stalker and it offers a mass of help, advice, and links. The site is called Network for Surviving Stalking. It has a very helpful "frequently asked questions" section and also gives you the number of the Victim Support Helpline - 0845 30 30 900.
The phone lines are open between: 9am and 9pm Monday to Friday; 9am to 7pm Saturday and Sunday; 9am to 5pm on Bank Holidays. As always Victim Support will give you help, guidance and support. Calls are charged at the local rate - lines can be busy and callers are advised that they may have to wait. NSS would be grateful if callers to Victim Support line could say that they heard about it through the NSS Website. The NSS site also has a stalking victim’s story, told from the perspective of the victim, the Police, and other involved.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust website is also another good site to visit for more information.
Don’t try to cope with the situation on your own. Stalking is a serious problem, which may well get worse if left unchecked.
Use the helpline - Call the Police