PARENTS & CARERS - Domestic Abuse

Page Index

Some background to the issue

Even now, in the 21st Century, Domestic abuse continues to be a problem suffered by many in private. The stigma that surrounds the issue prevents many of its suffers to keep quiet about an issue that is, now more so than ever, completely unacceptable.

Here at Best Advice we want to bring Domestic abuse to the forefront of peoples' minds and to ensure that people do NOT continue to suffer in silence in a time where a plethora of help is available. Domestic abuse, and particularly domestic violence, is a hidden crime. It often takes place behind the closed doors. Often people, other than those involved, are aware of what is happening. This means the victim is suffering in the very place they should feel safe and secure - in their own home!

NO ONE SHOULD SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF DOMESTIC ABUSE!

Some facts about Domestic Abuse & Violence

  • Two women die in the UK EVERY WEEK, as a result of domestic violence.
  • 1 in 4 women will be the victim of domestic abuse at some point in their lives.
  • Domestic violence accounts for between 16% to 25% of all reported violent crime. (Source: Domestic Violence Forum)
  • An average victim of domestic abuse will suffer over 30 incidents before reporting the matter. Domestic violence has the highest number of repeat victims in any crime. (Source: Domestic Violence Forum)
  • In many cases, domestic violence happens in front of children.
  • The estimated total cost of domestic violence to society in monetary terms is £23 billion per annum. This figure includes an estimated £3.1 billion as the cost to the state and £1.3 billion as the cost to employers and human suffering cost of £17 billion.
  • 42% of female murder victims are killed by a partner or ex-partner.
  • Domestic violence is the largest cause of death in women aged 19-44, greater than war, cancer, and motor vehicle accidents.(Source: Attorney General's Office)

What is Domestic Abuse

An excepted definition of this crime is:

"Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality."

Domestic abuse does not have to be physical. It can be:

  • financial - the withholding of money from a partner.
  • sexual, involving forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to or are unable to, or in ways you don’t feel happy about.
  • psychological - demeaning you or belittling you in front of others or your children.
  • It does not only effect women - it is estimated that 1 in 9 men will suffer some form of domestic abuse in their lifetime.
  • It is also common in same sex relationships.
  • It can cause lasting effects on children who bear witness to acts of domestic abuse and violence.

The Police now recognise domestic abuse as a major issue and all Police forces are committed to deal with incidents promptly, fairly and thoroughly, regardless of the type of relationship involved.

NEVER FEEL THAT THE POLICE ARE TOO BUSY TO DEAL WITH YOUR NEEDS- YOU MUST INVOLVE THE POLICE!

Important Contact Numbers

  • If the situation is an emergency and you feel in immediate danger do not hesitate to call 999. Do not leave it too late.
  • Bedfordshire Police Domestic Violence Unit is staffed by experienced officers and support staff who will always give you non-judgemental advice: 01234 846919.
  • You can also call the Police non-emergency line on: 01234 841212.
  • The 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (freephone) on 0808 2000 24.
  • For information about services available in Bedfordshire call The Bedfordshire Local Information Line on 0808 202 1796.
  • Victim support: 01234 840300/ 0845 30 30 900

Important Websites

While many sections of this site give you web addresses to get more information, we do so as that's what those sites offer, free information. Many companies offer web based Will making services but charge for their services. BEST Advice can't endorse any service provider who charges, but you will find literally hundreds on the web, so your choice is wide if you choose to use one.

For free information on Domestic Violence then try the following sites:

Wherever you go to get advice, help or support, your enquiry will be treated in confidence and the people you speak to will be totally non-judgemental.

REMEMBER: You don't have to be a victim. You can make it stop.

What if I am the abuser?

The majority of the advice and support included in this section is aimed at the victims of domestic abuse. But what if you are the abuser, and you want help to change. Where can you go? Who is here for you? Below is a list of the agencies that are there to offer you the help and support you need to change. Remember, all advice given will be done so confidentially. Do not be afraid to seek help.

Everyman Project

Partner Support Service

  • Phone: 020-7263-8894 (Tuesday and Wednesdays from 9am to 5pm)

Freedom Project

Agencies that run specific programmes to help you:

Respect

  • Tel: 0845 122 8609 (Helpline)
  • Email: phoneline@respect.uk.net
  • Website: www.respect.uk.net

Temper (Contact: David Eggins)

  • Tel: 01604 408686
  • Fax: 01604 211445
  • Email: TEMPERDV@aol.com
  • Website: www.temper.me.uk
  • Helpline: 01604 211445 or 0121 270 61 68

Domestic Violence Intervention Programme