HEALTH - Serious Teenage Issues - Low Self Esteem

Page Index

Some children and young people are naturally shy and quiet. Some are not particularly good at social interaction and have their own small circle of friends which they stick with and don't enlarge. Others are natural pessimists and will go through life always seeing the glass half empty as opposed to half full. All perfectly natural and part of what makes each one of us, and our children, unique.

But what if a normally outgoing and sociable child starts to become quiet and withdrawn?

What can lead to Low Self Esteem?

If could be that something has happened to knock their confidence and they are suffering from low self esteem. That something could be a particular incident, like a bullying episode, or a thoughtless comment addressed to a child who is overweight.

Alternatively it could be the result of a something that is long standing and has gradually drained their confidence, and this is often the case with young people and "body image" issues. For example, a young girl who is physically developing at a slower rate than her class mates and friends may suffer a lack of confidence and low self esteem because all her friends have breasts and she doesn't, or because he or she is taller, shorter, thinner or fatter than their friends.

What are the signs of Low Self Esteem?

Low self esteem can manifest itself in many ways and bring about lots of different behaviors. Some common ones are:

  • Lack of self confidence or unusual shyness
  • Depression and bouts of "the blues"
  • Mood swings, often leading to displays of temper
  • Reluctance to voice an opinion
  • Social withdrawal and lack of interaction with other children
  • Concentrating on the negative aspects of situations
  • Being negative about themselves and their abilities
  • Eating disorders
  • Reluctance to try new things
  • Being overly concerned and worried about what they imagine others think of them
  • Becoming obsessed about a particular aspect of their appearance or body

There are many more signs, these are just some, but one person who will definitely notice a change in a child is the parent or carer, but if you do notice that change it can sometimes be hard to know what to do for the best.

What can happen?

Low self esteem and lack of confidence can effect a child's educational and social development and if left unchecked, go on to effect them as an adult. What is important if the issue is caused by a child or young person being unhappy about their looks, body or physical appearance is that you reassure them that we are all different. We all grow and develop at different speeds, and being taller, skinnier, shorter or fatter than our friends doesn't mean people will not like us or that we are less of a person than they are. It doesn't devalue our worth as individuals and we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves as a result.

What help is there?

Some very good internet websites exist which deal with this subject and many provide step by step advice to help you to help your child.

Please bear in mind that in prolonged or severe cases the help of a professional child psychologist or counselor may be the answer. All schools in the Samuel Whitbread pyramid now have access to trained Counselors and your local Head Teacher will be able to help if this is the course of action that is required.

Some of the web sites listed here are American and Canadian, but the general advice they give is helpful and well written, so they are all worth a look: